By Myles Palmer

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ONLY TWO MINNOWS among the 32 Champions League clubs.

FC Thun are probably smaller than Artmedia Bratislava, who lost 1-0 to the mighty Inter Milan, Adriano, Figo and all.

I knew Chelsea would beat Anderlecht, so I watched Lyon v Real Madrid.

Beckham and Robinho worked a clever free-kick, moving the ball sideways before Beckham's shot went round the wall but just beat the post with keeper Coupet baffled.

Madrid's defence is pitifully disorganised: Carew nodded on a Juninho freekick for the rirst goal and Helguera failed to block as Juninho rifled in another free-kick, which bounced and beat Casilllas.

ROBINHO is a deceptive will-of-the-wisp striker who will win zillions of free-kicks this season.

He rarely puts the ball where you can reach it, so defenders are stuck between a rock and a hard place. They have to choose between fouling Robinho or letting him run into the box with the ball.

A superb move down the right flank, involving Wiltord, ended when Wiltord volleyed the best goal of his career to make it 3-0.

Crikey, I thought. Who needs Michael Essien ?

Casillas made a phenomenal save froma Juninho penalty to prevent 4-0.

Without Zidane and Ronaldo, Madrid were toothless.

CHELSEA HAVE yet to concede a goal.

Lampard scored with a fierce, swerving shot in 19 minutes

Menacing dribblers like sub Shaun Wright-Phillips can attract three defenders to them, then pass square for players to have a shot.

SWP can do this for Lampard, Essien,Drogba, whoever.

LIVERPOOL won 2-1 against Real Betis in Seville.

Benitez made six changes from Saturday, resting Gerrard for the Man United game at Anfield on Sunday.

Peter Crouch had a role in both goals.

A long ball down the middle, two against two, Crouch occupied one defender, Sinama-Pongolle pushed the other and audaciously chipped the keeper.

Then Crouch played in Zenden with a sweet reverse pass and he crossed for Luis Garcia to score a Ljungbergish goal to put them 2-0 up in 14 minutes.

So both English clubs won.

Over to you, Arsene and Sir Alex.

Man United are in Spain tonight, playing Villareal, who may be without injured playmaker Riquelme.

I ALWAYS LOOK for signs that I'm losing it, and there are more every year.

Nowadays I can't remember which bets I've had. At the weekend I had a bet on Real Madrid v Celta Vigo and they lost 3-2 with the goal that never was, a shot that hit the underside but did not cross the line, although the linesman said it did.

Next day I discovered that I'd backed more than 2.5 goals, so I'd won.

Tonight, same thing. I thought I'd backed Chelsea to win by two goals but I'd done Chelsea/Chelsea - halftime and fulltime.Lampard scored the only goal in the first half.

Inter let me down by missing 4 chances in Bratislava, so they only beat Artmedia 1-0.You get half your stake back on a 1-0 away win.

My main man Shevchenko got a late tap-in as AC Milan beat Fenerbahce 3-1.

Kaka scored a good goal and then a wonder-goal after a typical Kaka slalom.

The kid is world klass, as you know. In between Anelka wriggled past Cafu, got barged down in the box by Gattuso, penalty, 1-1.

But, on checking, I find I didn't have a bet on Milan by two goals. I'm tired, I went to the gym today, but I'm not THAT tired. That is no excuse. I must be losing it.

I reckoned Lyon v Real Madrid might produce five or six goals, but three in 31 minutes was enough to win my bet there.

Overall, a night of headed goals, free-kick goals, set-piece goals and late goals.

An early goal, a la Sinama-Pongolle, is what Arsenal will need to settle them down against the Swiss.

Gut feeling ? Arsenal will score early.

IN CRICKET, it was the great sportsmanship of the Aussies that made this into the best series ever.

We adopted their spirit after the first Test.

I admire the Aussies a lot. I love people who know how to play hard and give it everything, but do not mince words or make excuses when they lose.

The interviews by Shane Warne and Ricky Ponting were fantastic.

Both said : We were outplayed, we must do better next time, well done England.

Really great sportsmen have grace, have respect for the sport, its traditions.They taught us something vital.

OK, England won.

But Australia won as well because they showed us how to play like men and how to be men.

September 14th 2005

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